Where did my voice go? I've lost it somewhere.

Okay.

So you've probably been waiting for that all existential post full of emo and angst that most, if not all, posts are usually made up of.

Well... this is mine.

For a while I had been evaluating the value of what my life really, truly is. What am I doing? Who am I becoming? And where the hell am I going in my life? Just, what the hell am I doing anymore? Why do I keep questioning myself all the friggin' time? Is everything that I've been doing worth it?

All I get out of this is a friggin' headache!

I'm pretty sure that everything can't be seen through rose-tinted glasses. Not everybody's going to be happy about everything. Heck, no good deed goes unpunished, so I agree with the Wicked musical 110%. For this whole entire time, I've only managed to make myself feel miserable. But I'll hide it behind this optimism and this smile.

All I know is, I've come to realise that I've truly lost my voice. The voice to speak for myself. The voice to speak to my family. The voice to speak to my parents. The voice to speak at all. Sometimes, I feel like I'm on mute every day. I've come to realise in a short span of time...

I'm just lost.



Now, apologies for the self-loathing and the angsty rant. It at least goes to show exactly where I am.